A Reason
In the 21st century, conflicts of all sort pop out of no where.Ofcourse,it’s only normal to have trouble with life,and feeling down is nothing new.But when things get heavier than what you can carry,that’s when problems begin to magnify.
Dealing with the situation your in depends on what kind of person you are and what kind of attitude you have towards life’s dilemmas.It’s simple,really.If you’re optimistic you’ll probably handle it pretty well,however If your a pessimist things might not always look so bright.
It surprises me that committing suicide is the leading cause of death world wide.Is the world turning so horrible that breathing doesn’t seem like the best option? Is living really worse than being under the ground? If you ask me,I think It all revolves around what you believe this world is here for.
Let’s say you were living for your family.And all of a sudden,your most valued reason for living was taken away from you in a split second.The car crashed into the tree,and no one was left alive.Your reason for living was also taken away from you. And now creeping along your way comes the temptation to end your life.How bad could it be? You think.It can’t be worse than this.
In a more simplified way,take all the things that you live for in life,and cross them out.In this case,the solution would be zero.However,in another case,(if you happen to believe in something) faith would be the only one left standing.That’s because faith isn’t a “thing”,it’s a direction.It’s a reason.
At times of hardship,it comforts me to think that theres a place out there a million times better than this.People always seem to be asking me how I can feel so happy all the time.Truth is,I’m not always happy.No one can always be happy.The one thing that keeps me going,the one thing that refuels my low spirit,is the thought of life after this world.
So the question was, “How can you feel so happy after getting such a bad mark?!”
I guess I’ll just have to say that what is meant to happen will happen,and what is not meant to happen will not happen.It’s all in your destiny,and yes,flunking a test or two isn’t the best thing that can happen,but in my opinion and in my belief, what it really all comes down to,is being a good person.And as long as I am a good person,(not a perfect person),but a person with a clean conscience everything else in this world sort of blurs out of focus.
It’s the person who has a good heart that will be in a better place than Earth.
(Not the person who gets straight A’s)
Atleast that’s what I think.
It Sees All,And All Sees It
Growing up as the youngest one in my family,I’ve always been told what to do.I’ve always been told what to do,where i can go,where i cannot go,what i need to do,what i should do,how to act,what to say,the list goes on and on.Of course,this has impacted who i am as of today in a gigantic way.It seemed to me that whenever i needed anything,whatever it was,my sister’s would back me up and my family would give me the best of the best.
However,being the youngest one in the family can get a little lonely sometimes.I mean,if everyone is older than you are,you’ve got no one to play tag with.No one wants to play childish games and have snow fights.I grew up having to entertain myself,by myself.And in that way,a whole bunch of independent hobbies came creeping into my life.Drawing for one,was something i loved to do.Partly because i didn’t need anyone to draw with.All I needed was a pencil,a piece of paper,and a little imagination to get me started.And then there was soccer.Man,did i love soccer.When i was younger,I’d go out into my background and repeatedly run back and forth kicking the ball against the gate only for it to come right back to me again.According to my fifth grade teacher,I was the best soccer player in his class.Everyone would always tell me to join a team.But i was never really the competitive type to join one.Soon,soccer slowly tip toed out of my life,and art was finding it’s way back into it.This time,it barged in with a much more serious edge to it.
I didn’t want to copy other people’s creations,I wanted to draw my own.And so i practiced and practiced until one day i actually became satisfied with my work.I liked what i had done.And I although i don’t show a lot of people what i do,it doesn’t matter because art is just for me.
But now bouncing along the way comes something else.And this something else,is my very own companion.It hangs from my neck,and has an eye that works just like mine.It sees all,and all sees it.Though it doesn’t have a mouth,it speaks with it’s screen.My special companion not only let’s me do what i want but let’s me be exactly who i am.It makes me feel as though i don’t need someone to be with to do things.It gives me a feeling of independence and a sense of purpose.If I want to take a walk,I only need this one companion of mine to take the walk with.Walking alone isn’t very appealing to me,unless i’ve got someone to walk with.And that someone,I figure now,doesn’t always have to be a mortal.
I don’t know why i never thought of this before!
Oh My Gawwwd!
I know i shouldn’t get too excited over this because it’ll probably change soon but im getting a B IN MATH! : D And Math,(if you don’t know yet),is my worst subject ever! Although im receiving a 73 on the dot,I believe this is the highest mark ive gotten so far in math.Now all i have to do is maintain it,which is much harder than it sounds…
Peace
When i think of peace nowadays,I feel that its quite a distance from where i am.That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m not at peace,it just means that when i look at my surroundings,when i turn on the TV,negativity is everywhere.You cannot escape it,but thinking of just peace and peace alone,makes me wonder how it would feel.How odd it would all be if everyone liked each other,and everyone agreed.A world full of positivity and optimism.
I want to know how that feels.
Heart Beat
As I lay there in the dark,listening to my own heart beat with my sister’s new stethoscope,I couldn’t help but feel fascinated.This one organ,this one little muscle controls the life in us.It pumps our blood,and works extra hard doing so.If it stops beating,you will be gone forever.
I can’t understand how it can carry on working for a good hundred years.Nor can i understand who created this mystical anatomy.This world is too perfect to be made by hands of imperfection.Our bodies,the galaxies,the many cycles of this life,is just too amazing for something as little as a random disaster to make it all occur.
My eyes widen at the thought of who created this world and who created us.I cannot even imagine how perfect He is.The genius in Him is nothing compared to anything on this planet.He is something beyond our puny imaginations;he is more than just great.He is better!
Tim Hortons
Today me and Jus were heading up the hill to school,and we had a bagel and a cup of cappuccino in our hands and a guy yelled out”I WANT SOME,GIMME SOME!”from his car.
Question : Who has the energy to yell that out at 7:30 in the morning?
Answer: Ive got no idea,but it sure as hell made my day.
Sleep Over With Amana
On Friday I went to Amana’s house.If you don’t know who Amana is,she’s one of my best friends and we go wayyy back.Any who,when I’m with her we don’t exactly plan anything out.I mean,sure we’ve gone to tons of places,events,parties together but everything almost pops out spontaneously.It’s weird..
So there we were trying to get her brother to watch TV so we can actually “talk talk” , if you know what i mean.
As some time passed,we had finally succeeded and began jabbering away like we do every week,catching up on the five days we weren’t together.: ) Before we knew it,it was about 10ish and I had to go home.Fortunately for us,Amana’s dad was in a really good mood and gave her permission to spend the night at my place.Now that,was like having warm home made chocolate chip cookies being served to you on a rainy day.It felt good.
Since I had just found out that she never watched the movie Blood Diamond yet,I ordered her to rent it.
Sitting in our basement cuddled up with blankets and pizza and pop and all the things that give you more acne than you already have,we drooled over Leonardo Dicaprio and his African accent.BOY oh boy..
“He is SO hot” she said.Her eyes looked all dreamy.
“DIDN’T I TELL YOU?!!? DAMN,HE MAKES THE MOVIE TEN TIMES BETTER!”
“Even when he runs,” She said still looking dreamy.
“Even when he looks mad,” I said playing on feeling very giddy inside.
“Even when he’s killing people,” we laughed.
It was true,he looked good doing anything at anytime.
And as the movie went on, i tried my best not to tear up when he was going to die,trying to save it because if i did cry,then she’d know he was gonna end up dying.As we both watched the scene we started bawling like babies.It was hilarious!
“I dont wan’t him to die,Sophia” Amana said with a laughing/sad smile.
“I know man,GOD.Why the hell does he have to die!”
“He’s too hot to dieee…Nooooooooo…” She said bawling as we started to laugh and cry at the same time.
After the movie we stayed up till 4 am,talking and talking and talking until finally we fell right to sleep.
In the morning,we walked to Tim’s and got ourselves an ice cap and a couple of donuts.I also dragged Amana to Fish world to show her the great white parrot i had seen the day before and the moment i walked the cashier said “Hey,you’re the bird lady!”
That made me laugh quite a bit.He called me the bird lady because on Thursday,when i went out jogging i dropped by the place to check out the birds and snatched one from it’s cage.He said i was the first one that could pick the bird up.I don’t exactly know why he was surprised.Perhaps the cockatiel was a biter.
As i looked up to reply i noticed how cute he was,I had missed to see it the day before.He was definitely something.Anyway,talking to a cute guy is not something i’m very good at so i tried to say as little as possible.
“Uhh,yeah! Just wanted to show my friend the bird,” I said smiling,trying to pretend that the nerves weren’t killing me in the inside.
As we left Fish World,we were going to make our way back home but since I really didn’t want to go home just yet,we took the longer route to my house.And that,was where I had spotted a tree.
"DON'T CLIMB ME"
The tree had a very scary looking face,as if it were trying to warn us not to climb it.We did anyway.It turned out to be pretty swell,and we decided to hang around for a bit.
Studying Bio lol
I like this picture.:)
We took some really cool shots on this tree,and got ourselves some good memories.Amana had fallen off ,right on her back and it was the funniest thing i had ever seen.After I asked her if she was all right,we both howled with laughter.I don’t think i’ll ever forget the way she fell off that tree.Man,it was funny.
BOO! I SEE YOU.
I also took some mirror shots since I finally had a model.They turned out okay.
We were literally drinking that stuff like they were shots.
LOL
To conclude,I had a fantastic weekend,and i hope yours went well too.
Results Of Time
When i was younger,I used to get really excited when my dad came home from work.Whenever I’d hear a car parking in the driveway,I knew it was my pops.I would run to the closet where all the shoes were kept,and wait there silently so i could scare him.To me,my dad was the strongest man in the world,and although he could be really serious at times,he was always the best joker.Getting him scared would be the biggest accomplishment of my whole entire 5 years of life,but I could never do it.Course,I didn’t give up so easily.With the hopes and the spirit of a naive kid,I was determined.I was ambitious.I began hiding in the closet on a regular basis,and now that i think of it,my dad probably knew i were there the whole time.He’d always say “You think you can scare me?” and snort sarcastically.lol However,soon,this habit of mine slowly began to dim,and I,like most kids,grew out of it.
I would also pull his socks off when he was sitting on the couch,and he would make it extremely hard to pull them off for me,so every time i actually did pull one off,I’d fall right onto the hard surface of the floor.Don’t get me wrong here,my dad was just playing around,and I loved it.We were best buds,me and him and when he’d come home we’d always shake hands.His hand shakes weren’t like a normal dads though,his hand shakes were firm.And if you gripped it without thinking,he’d squeeze your hands so hard that you’d feel like passing out.He loved to tease people doing this.In fact a couple of days back,he told me that he made a guy cry by doing that in Afghanistan.(Which made me laugh hysterically.)
But now,as a whole lot of time passed,he comes home,and i don’t scare him.I don’t pull his socks off either.I used to be able to shake his hands really firmly,but the last time i did,he cried out in pain.He has been working so hard for so long.Something fell on his hands a couple of years back and ever since his hands have been hurting.But he still works,never giving up until his family’s needs are satisfied.He’s got 3-4 surgeries done,and none of them has helped.This makes me terribly depressed and although it really hurt when he shook my hand, I want him to be able to do it again.I want to be able to cherish the pain because it’s nothing compared to the pain I’m feeling right now.And if you saw me at this moment of time,with tears rolling down my face,you’d know exactly why I’m trying extra hard this year to get good grades and be a better person.
I want to repay him by making him think that moving to Canada,leaving his family,and working every single day to provide food and shelter,whether his hands were hurt or not, was worth it all in the end.
I thought my dad was the bravest person in the world,and that he would never get scared even if i tried my best,but the truth is,he might not be scared of a 5 year old hiding in the closet trying to be all scary,but he sure as hell is scared of losing what stands by him every day of his life.His family.
I love my dad.
As much as i love my mum.
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